The Losing of One’s Self

~Tommy and Max


“There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.”
~Howard Zinn

War eradicates one’s mind as well as one’s body. All Quiet on the Western Front (by Erich Maria Remarque) flawlessly illustrates this as the main character Paul loses himself as the book goes on. For example, In Chapter 7, Paul is on leave and realizes that he has lost interest in all the commodities he loves and used to hold dear. No longer does he find comfort in the leathery pages of a novel, and is left to wonder how he can go back to civilian life after the war. He inwardly cries out to the books, exailiming: “speak to me—take me up—take me up”, but to no avail. Later, after Paul is done talking with a blissfully ignorant man on the street, he is thinking about how leave was supposed to be different from this. He feels he can’t even begin to understand the civilians and their lives:

They talk too much for me. they have worries, aims, desires, that I cannot comprehend. I often sit with one of them in the little beer garden and try to explain to him that this is really the only thing: just to sit quietly, like this. they understand of course, they agree, they may even feel it so too, but only with words, only with words, yes, that is it—they feel it, but always only half of themselves, the rest of their being taken up with other things, they are so divided in themselves that none feels it with his whole essence; I cannot even say myself exactly what I mean.

 ~[Chapter 7]

War has torn Paul so far apart that he cannot understand anything about civillian’s lives. He wants to comprehend, wants to understand, wants to have a normal life; but war has made it so that can never be possible. He describes it as a “distance” or some kind of “veil” between the normal fold and himself preventing him from being normal again. War has ruined Paul’s life without causing him bodily harm. War can splatter one’s brains across a wall, rip your guts from your abdomen, and blow your limbs from your body; however, an almost equal danger can be the decimation of one’s self. 

The Horrors of War

~Tommy and Max

That’s one of the horrors of war, that you can train a person, train them to hate, train them to kill. It’s a terrible thought.

~Daniel Inouye

War is truly atrocious. While that comes as no surprise, the book All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque perfectly illustrates this with the main character Paul losing his closest friends, losing himself, and losing everything he used to hold dear. This is evident when Paul witnesses unspeakable horrors in service of his country. In Chapter 6, Paul and his company are sent to the front line to fight; and that is where they are bombarded, attacked, and scarred for life: 

We see men living with their skulls blown open; we see soldiers run with their two feet cut off, they stagger on their splintered stumps into the next shell hole; a lance-corporal crawls a mile and a half on his hands dragging his smashed knee after him; another goes to the dressing station and over his clasped hands bulge his intestines; we see men without mouths, without jaws, without faces; we find one man who has held the artery of his arm in his teeth for two hours in order not to bleed to death. The sun goes down, night comes, the shells whie, life is at an end.

~[Chapter 6]

 

Paul and these men have seen things that no man should ever have to see; and for what? They’re fighting a war they don’t care about, a war that doesn’t matter to them; all they want is for it to end. And yet these “dirty” and “pallid” are still sent to their deaths. War and death encompass each other, and Paul takes notice: “But on every yard lies a dead man” All one can hope for is a swift and clean death on the battlefield.

“My leg”

“My arm”

“My back”

“Everything hurts”

“We slammed to the ground so hard”

“How did we even crash?”

“You’ve must’ve hit a rock”

“possibly”

“The sand can sometimes hide the objects underneath”

“Ya I couldn’t see because of the blinding sun”

“Well maybe you should’ve took the sunglasses that Jack offered you”

“I know but we are so low on money I didn’t want to spend it on those expensive sunglasses”

“Good point”

“Yah well maybe you should have told me there was a rock up ahead”

“Maybe you should have kept your eyes on the road”

“Alright bickering is not going to fix our problems, we have to think of a solution”

“Fine”

“What should we do”

“I don’t know why you can't figure it out. After all, you are the one who got us into this sticky situation.”

“Alright we have an extra wheel in the back”

“I don’t know how to put on a wheel. Do you?”

“Luckily I do”

“Well can you put it on then?”

“I can try but it won’t be pretty”

“Well try your best because the sun is starting to set”

“The wheel is on”

“Finally you did something good today.”

“Be quiet”

“Let’s get this thing back on the road”

“Sounds like a plan”

“I’m gonna drive this time”

“Good idea now let's hurry”

“…… Oh no”

“What’s wrong”

“The gas is low, did you leave the car running?”

“Only because it is scorching hot outside and I need the ac, we need to find a gas station”

“I can see one up ahead” 

“Ok, I only have 15 dollars left, that should be enough to get us back”

“Ok I don’t have any money”

“…..Maybe it was a good thing we didn’t buy the glasses then”

Dear Tommy,

War has been tough to be honest. It’s a different experience every day. One day you’ll be fighting constantly and the next you’ll be at your house reflecting on how the war has changed you. 

Currently I’m not in the best mental state. I have so many different feelings flowing around in my head. My attitude has changed drastically since I joined the war. We are constantly fighting here and you will never stop until you're dead.

A few days ago I went to a training camp and right next to it was a prison. I saw how sad their faces looked. I realized how they are just like me and they personally didn’t wanna kill my people. I noticed I don’t really feel anything anymore. When I was leaving I gave 2 of the soldiers some of my mothers bread.

At the war I started to feel more detached to my family. I don’t wanna feel detached from my family but I don’t know how to stop myself from getting detached from them. 

I decided to visit my family back home. When I was at home I noticed how much safer it was for me since I wasn’t on the front line risking my life everyday. I knew I had to go back though because even though back home was more safe I needed to go back because I had to fight.

I got back to the front line where I joined Tjaden, Müller, Kat and Kropp who were all alive and well. 

The front line is terrifying. You never know what to expect. Yesterday I had a bomb land near me unexpectedly and I had know idea what to do. I had so many different feelings flowing in my mind. I felt lonely and scared. I had to crawl to our hiding spot. The German soldiers soon rescued me and I didn’t feel so lonely anymore. I knew the enemies were gonna attack me sooner or later. I pulled off something unthinkable. I faked my death and layed down on the ground then when one of the soldiers ran by I immediately started stabbing the man. It was the first time I have killed somebody with my hands. I talked to the man and told him I had no desire to kill him, it was just my job. I then take the dead soldier's pocketbook. I right down the man’s address before returning the notebook.

I had to sneak back after sunset. I sneak towards the line. I then come across Kat and Albert. The next morning I knew I had to tell them what I did. I had a hard time sleeping over what I did. I told Kat and Albert. They didn’t see the problem and told me there was no need to lose sleep over that.

In conclusion war has been like a track meet. I feel like it’s never going to end. On the good side I feel like I’m doing the right thing. I'm gonna keep on working on my mental health and start to be more positive.

Sincerely,

Your friend, Paul

All Quiet on the Western Front

_{How one can Lose Himself after the War}

_{~Max, Colby and Tommy}

War is the greatest failure of mankind
~ Aaron Huey

     Even during the war, it is important to remember that we are all still human. In Chapter 8 of All Quiet on the Western Front, the main character Paul explores ideas of humanity when he witnesses Russian prisoners of war starving. Paul can relate to the soldiers, being a soldier himself, and thinks they look a lot like German peasants and describes them as looking “kindly” and having “honest” faces. At night, Paul is guarding the Russians by the wire fence that separates the training camp from the prison camp and is thinking to himself:     

     “A word of command has made these silent figures our enemies; a word of command might transform them into our friends. At some table, a document is signed by some persons whom none of us knows, and then for years together that very crime on which formerly the world’s condemnation and severest penalty fall, becomes our highest aim. But who can draw such a distinction when he looks at these quiet men with their childlike faces and apostles’ beards. Any non-commissioned officer is more of an enemy to a recruit, any schoolmaster to a pupil than they are to us. And yet we would shoot at them again and they at us if they were free.”

     When Paul first arrives at the camp, he examines the Russian prisoners because he sees that they look a lot like the peasants from his own country: “They have faces that make one think—honest peasant faces, broad foreheads, broad noses, broad mouths, broad hands, and thick hair.” When Paul first arrives at the camp, he can’t tell if he’s feeling sympathy or empathy. Sympathy towards the soldiers and their predicament, or empathy towards the soldiers because he too, is a soldier. After Paul witnesses the abominable condition and dilemma of the prisoners, he realizes that he and the men in front of him are pretty alike. They are both soldiers, fighting in a war they don’t truly believe in, both soldiers who don’t know why they’re fighting, and both soldiers that don’t want to be fighting.  “If only they would not look at one so—What great misery can be in two such small spots, no bigger than a man’s thumb—in their eyes!” With Paul realizing the cruelty and inhumanity of the prison camp, he becomes aware of the fact that he doesn’t feel anything anymore. Paul believes he is unable to feel sympathy and can’t “perceive” the Russian prisoners. As Chapter 8 goes on, Paul becomes more and more detached from his family and himself. Paul is like a snowball rolling down a hill; even if he might want to stop, he can’t. His detachment can only grow. The chapter ends with Paul giving the Russian soldiers 2 of his mother's cakes; us as readers are left to wonder how Paul will move forward; will he move forward?

Paul is Damaged because of the War

~Colby Mara & Tommy Doherty

“I know the horrors of war; no gains can compensate for the losses it brings”
~ Adolf Hitler

War physically and mentally damages you. The book All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque the book explores the horrors of war and the consequences of war. Chapter 6 shows the action, the death, and the blood of war, meanwhile In chapter seven shows the consequences and emotions of war. In Chapter 6 of all Quiet on the Western Front, Paul had to dig out of the hole that they were buried in because of all the bombardments. While digging out of the hole they were a lot calmer because they knew they were safe. “We are calmer because we have had something to do.” Chapter 6 highlights more action and the physical parts of war, likewise chapter seven highlights more of the consequences of war and everything Paul has lost. In the book Paul has PTSD from the war. Paul has to face the consequence of the war. All the death and blood he has seen has made Paul become a new man. “Why can I not put my head in your lap and weep? Why have I always been strong and self-controlled?” Even though Chapter 6 was a lot of battle scenes and Chapter 7 was about the horrors of the war they had some similarities but they also did have some differences. In Chapter 6 Paul is on the front line fighting for his life however in Chapter 7 Paul is back home and is reflecting on his time on the front line. A similarity between the two chapters was how there was war in both chapters. Even though Paul wasn’t fiscally at the war in Chapter 7 he was constantly thinking about the war. A difference between the 2 chapters was how in Chapter 6 Paul was risking his life being on the front line and in Chapter 7 Paul wasn’t at the front line. He was at his house where he felt a lot safer. In both Chapters 6 and 7, the book shows the horrors of war but in different meanings.

Summer or Winter?

Which is Better

"Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows."
~ Helen Keller

One day I spent a whole hour waiting in a ski line in New Hampshire in negative weather just to get off a cold chair and fall down the mountain 20 times. When I could have been swimming and touching the hot sand with my toes in Cape Cod and seeing all the families smiling living it up at the beach.

Excerpt From Huck Finn 

By: Mark Twain

You didn’t want to come. The average man don’t like trouble and danger. YOU don’t like trouble and danger. But if only HALF a man – like Buck Harkness, there – shouts ‘Lynch him! lynch him!’ you’re afraid to back down – afraid you’ll be found out to be what you are – COWARDS – and so you raise a yell, and hang yourselves on to that half-a-man’s coat-tail, and come raging up here, swearing what big things you’re going to do. The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that’s what an army is – a mob; they don’t fight with courage that’s born in them, but with courage that’s borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness. Now the thing for YOU to do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole. If any real lynching’s going to be done it will be done in the dark, Southern fashion; and when they come they’ll bring their masks, and fetch a MAN along. Now LEAVE – and take your half-a-man with you” – tossing his gun up across his left arm and cocking it when he says this.

Huck Finn Excerpt 

When 1 person leads 100s follow

You're average and so am I. No one is perfect in life. Everyone is just about average. Once you get over the fact that you're average you’ll realize that everyone around you is average too. A group of men came together during the day to go to a man’s house lynch him . But then a man came out and told them that they are average and how the only reason they will do it so they won’t be called a coward.

“You didn’t want to come. The average man doesn't like trouble and danger. YOU don’t like trouble and danger.”

In this block quote the man is telling the person that he is average.

“Afraid you’ll be found out to be what you are – COWARDS”.

In this line quote the man is telling him that the only reason he is doing this is so he doesn’t come across as a coward. This piece of literature really helped me realize that no one is perfect. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect and the person next to you isn’t perfect. A quote that relates with my piece of literature is “nobody is perfect and that’s why pencils have erasers”. This relates to my piece of literature because it’s just proving the point that no one is perfect and everyone is average. If you ever think in life that you're perfect, you're not. You are average. What I could have done better was be stronger in some places. I was very strong at the beginning and I wish that I was that strong to at the end and middle.

Reflection

I spent a good hour looking for the perfect piece that would give me a good grade for this assignment. I wasn’t able to find a piece that fit me very well so, I went to my English teacher and asked him to find a piece for me that would fit me well. That’s exactly what he did. The piece that I’m doing is a excerpt from Huck Finn. This poems fits me well in many ways.

A Seasons Experience 

Quote- "You can’t enter into a new season, until you’re willing to leave the old one!" ~ Joe Dawson

The Call of the Wild

Challenging Book Great Outcome

Roy T Bennet- “When the going gets tough, put one foot in front of the other and just keep going.

They never said this was going to be an easy book. The Call of the Wild by Jack London challenged me to read outside my comfort zone, and really acknowledge the themes and what the author is trying to say. When reading The Call of the Wild I faced an abundance of difficult new vocab words I had never seen before in a book. The difficult words made me a better reader and a better writer. I realized that through the use of descriptive and challenging vocabulary words painting a picture in the readers mind becomes easy. When we first started to read The Call of the Wild I just saw it as another busy work assignment to finish before Christmas break. The expectations of this book were very high because Fitz is always saying how good of a book it was. I figured that this book was just going to be another tiresome read to keep us busy but soon, we realized that we would be highlighting words we didn’t know, highlighting common themes and highlighting interesting phrases. I accepted the challenge and hoped that this would end up paying off in the long run. It indeed did after finishing the book I noticed that I have become a stronger reader and writer. When reading this book there were many themes that stood out. The theme that stood out to me the most and was mentioned all throughout the book was challenging. I learned that everyone faces challenges in life and it’s just not humans. I learned that dogs have to face challenges too. If you asked me a week ago if I was excited to read this book I would say “ no way Jose ''. This all changed when I was soon sucked in an awesome book where the main character was showing that everyone has a primordial beast that lives inside of them.

The Power of Love 

Every Man Needs Love

“All you need is love.”- Ethan Ali

We can only learn to love by loving. A dog is the only thing in the world that loves you more than she loves herself. It’s dogs that I love more than anything in the world. It was a sunny day in 2010 when we picked up Maggie from a breeder in NH. We knew exactly what dog we wanted from when we first took step into the building. Maggie started the day as Nana but then left as Maggie Sizzles Flowers Doherty. Years went by and my relationship grew stronger and stronger until one day that changed my life forever. It was mid May around 10pm when my parents came into my room with tears in their eyes. They told me that my dog Maggie who we have had for 11 years has passed away. I knew that her life was coming to an end shortly with her kidneys shutting down but I didn’t know that it was going to be that night where I never saw her with her again with her toy in her mouth. I would never be able to play fetch with her again. I would never again walk her up and down my street. The fact that I was never going to see my dog again was scary. She’s been the love of my life for the past 11 years not only as a pet but as a family member. During this sad few weeks I had my family by my side the whole time during the process. Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.