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April 2019

May 2019

A Reflection

A Journey Coming to an End


Show me The Universe, and I’ll give you a pebble, give me a pebble, and I’ll show you the universe 



       Windsor Mountain, it was a time of new awakening and realization. The bond fire, I still remember it so perfectly. The sound of the fire cracking, and the stars twinkling on the night sky. I opened up, I told those who stood around the fire what I felt, and I wasn’t made fun of. No, it was quite the opposite. People followed my lead. They opened up, I reflected that this was our last year, and I wanted it to go by so fast; however, I wanted to cherish every last second of it. Windsor Mountain set the tone for they year, for this was going to be a year awakening, realization and loss.


Classics, a book everyone’s heard about, but never read. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, ambiguous language, but a story of kid who loves life and loves being in it. Lord of the Flies, a boys lust for power and how they act without supervision. On the outside just innocent little boys, but when the beats inside them awakes, all hell breaks loose. A fire awakes like the one that burned across the jungle comes and leaves everything to ashes. Evolution? maybe we look a bit different, but that beast inside of us has never changed. We are just as savage as we were, for that is our true nature. Catcher in the Rye, what’s the point why am I here and who cares. It was bleak and depressing, but it was the story of someone who was so lost yet so right. The way society portrays how one should act, but Holden, he knew the truth, he acted how he did. He didn’t care, and why should he? Why should I? All Quiet On the Western Front, it is not an adventure because for those who stand face to face with death it is anything but an adventure. I learned about a lost generation. They had life, and they were about live a beautiful one. Sadly, that was taken away from them. No one will ever understand. They simply will be cast aside, and let to rot. 


At the beginning of the year I couldn’t write. I wasn’t very good, but I had to work at it. I realized that the two years of tutoring was incomparable towards fitz, for he is something special. He’s unique, and that’s all I needed. I didn’t need to learn all these little tips and tricks that my tutor always tried to teach me; all I needed was someone to help me look inside of myself, and find the writer in myself. I learned from fitz that the best teacher is yourself. You know yourself more than anybody else, so just let your mind drift. Find yourself, it may take some time, but it’s great. Now that I better understand myself, my writing has improved in a way I never could’ve imagined it. However, imagination has two sides. Beautiful self awakening, but also self deprecating depression. 


It was a beautiful summer morning at the beach, a beautiful girl at my side and a beautiful sunset. I felt at peace. It was the closet thing to heaven, but this wasn’t reality. I woke up, there was no beach in sight. Only snow, it covered everything. Instead of a beautiful sunset, there was no light. There was nothing. Instead of warmth and light. There was snow and no sun. I was alone, no girl at my side. In this world filled with billions of people, I was alone. So incredibly alone. When pleasure fills, and dances with daffodils you feel amazing. It is blissful, but when come back to reality comes back. It is not bliss that fills, no. It is sadness.


Five years ago I set out on a journey. It was a new culture, something I had no clue what to expect. In those years I’ve had thousands of different experiences. Whether  it was awaking, saddening or blissful, they have all taught me. Awakening, like Windsor Mountain, or like the classics. The journeys of life. Adventure, human nature, meaning and the fragile essence of life. These books, they have showed  me incredible and life changing lessons. They are unlike anything else. Sadness, when my dad died, or when my grandfather died. Nothing gold can stay. No matter how much we love someone they will die, and that’s just life. We cannot change it, so make sure life is filled with bliss. Cherish every moment with those you love. In my five years I’ve learned so much, and I’m sad that I’m leaving. However, life doesn’t wait for you. This is the end of my chapter year, but now, a new chapter is to be written. 

Narrative Paragraph About a Teacher


The Greatest Gift




The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. 


-William Arthur Warg



       Inspiration, the greatest thing a teacher can give to his/hers students, and it was Fitz who inspired to find my way as a writer. When I felt confused as a writer; when I could barley express my feeling with my words, I learned that a teacher couldn’t teach me to be a great writer, but rather  inspire me to look deep down in myself and find the writer in me that I has such trouble finding.

At no other time in my life was this more obvious than after my first month of eight grade English with Fitz.

Worried and scared that my writing was incompetent for eight grade English, I stood outside of Fitz’s English class; however, Fitz taught the class in a way that was so different compared to any other English teacher. Whether it was with his long rants about classics, his philosophic like sayings about life, one of my favorite sayings of his, “Show me the universe and I’ll show you a rock, but show me a rock and I’ll show you the universe,”or even his stories about his life that seemed to good to be true—especially for an English teacher—it was all these things That lead me think with more depth, take risks with my writing and something I never thought would be possible, write for fun. After about a month of school I felt like I was writing with my emotions. I could finally express myself.

It didn’t matter that I was scared of eighth grade English, and It didn’t matter that I felt that I couldn’t express my emotions through writing. It only mattered that Fitz inspired me to become a better writer.

My writing, my “philosopher like mind” and who I am today, I mostly owe to fitz. Without fitz I don’t think my perspective on life would be the same. However, he never taught me how to write or how to love one’s life. No. Rather, he inspired me with his words. He inspired me to become better writer and human being overall. His most paramount gift to me was his inspiration

Literary Analysis Paragraph on Short Story


You are Nothing Without It 




Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.


-Maya Angelou



       You can have everything but be nothing without motivation, and it was in the short story, “Through the Tunnel”, by Doris Lessing, where Jerry used his tenacity and dedication to overcome a task that seemed to be a near impossible. Jerry goes through a lot while trying to complete an undertaking that seems almost impossible to follow through on, “He cried openly, fists in his eyes. There was no one to see him, and he cried himself out,” but even through all of that he fought on. Jerry may not have the same physical stature as the other local boys, but what he has is an undying motivation to complete the task at hand.

Jerry and his widowed mother—who are on vacation—are in a foreign country walking to the beach. They are familiar with the area, for they have been there several times. On their way to the beach something catches Paul’s eyes, “I’d like to go and have a look at those rocks down there.” Paul is immediately enticed. At the rocks he sees a bunch of local boys having loads of fun, and then the biggest of the boys jump. However, something odd happens. “After a long time, the boy came up on the other side of a bog dark rock, letting the air out of his lungs in a sputtering gasp and a shout of triumph” Paul is determined, yet terrified to complete the same amazing feat this boy has just accomplished. Paul works incredibly hard to hold his breath, so that he can make it through the underwater tunnel without running out of breath, “That night, his nose bled badly. For hours he had been under water, learning to hold his breath, and now he felt weak and dizzy.” Still Paul is determined to make it through the tunnel, and then on his last day he attempts to make it through. There’s no going back now:


He drifted to the surface, his face turned up to the air. He was gasping like a fish. He felt he would sink now and drown; he could not swim the few feet back to the rock. Then he was clutching it and pulling himself up on to it. He lay face down, gasping. He could see nothing but a red­veined, clotted dark. His eyes must have burst, he thought; they were full of blood. He tore off his goggles and gout of blood went into the sea.


It was Jerry’s determination that made his age and physical stature unimportant; it was Jerry’s determination that allowed him to hold his breath for so long; it was Jerry’s determination that helped him make it through the tunnel.

After completing this task, Jimmy feels relieved. He is no longer in anguish. You can have everything in life, Money, intelligence or athleticism, but without determination what are you? You are nothing, determination is what makes one successful. That is why Jerry succeed, he never let up.



Chapter 11&12 Metacognition

The End of  the Road 




The rifles are caked, the uniforms caked, everything is fluid and dissolved, the earth one dripping, soaked, oily mass in which lie yellow pools with red spiral streams of blood and into which the dead, wounded, and survivors slowly sink down.

-Paul(AQOTWF—Chapter 11)



       It's truly sad, really. The more time I think the more and more empathetic I feel towards Paul. He was just starting to live his life, but then he was lost, the lost generation. This book really is something else, and it’s such a sad and depressing book. Chapters eleven and twelve may have been short, but they still packed so much emotion. It made me so sad how Paul tried so desperately to save his last comrade, but he was unable. This book didn’t have a happy ending, it had a realistic ending, death. Death is the end. At the beginning of chapter eleven Paul described the war as type of disease, and that’s so true. It is something that takes, and almost never gives. I thought Detering’s escapa was going to be successful, and he could live a life in peace that every person deserves. He was caught, and to me that was heartbreaking. There probably been so many examples in history where someone was fighting a meaningless war that they not part in, and all they wanted to come back home. What Paul said, “Anyone might have known that his flight was only homesickness and a momentary aberration. But what does a court-martial a hundred miles behind the front-line know about it? We have heard nothing more of Detering.”
After these chapters I gotten a new sense of thankfulness. I’m glad that I most likely won’t have to go to war and throw my life away. I’m glad that I can live my life like all should be. I’m thankful that everyday I can return to my family, and that I don’t have to worry about fighting a war. Out of all the chapters, Chapter elven amazingly showed the pain that these soliders were going through. The times when they were glad they were dying was so confusing yet eye opening. Why would they want death—the thing they’ve been avoiding their whole left—take them, for they are lost. Unretrivavle. They will never be themselves again, for this war has forever changed them.

What is Imagination to you?


Let Yourself Drift, but Not Too Far




The True Sign of Intelligance is not knowledge but Imagination 

-Albert Einstein 


       The poem, “I wandered lonely as a cloud” is a very deep and meaningful poem. It talks about how when alone your mind travels to places that are beautiful and heartwarming, and I really do relate to this poem. I too imagine going to these beautiful places that are breathtaking; however, this poem leaves out something that is so very important. It’s after. Being alone and having the time to think can be amazing. It can inspire you to do great things. However, for me my imagination sometimes lead me to become depressed. I don’t really hang out with many people, so I have a lot of time to myself. In times when I lay in my bed in vacant or pensive mood (That’s a nod to the poem) my mind tends to drift. Once, I imagined myself on the beach, and alongside me was a beautiful girl. I felt so happy since I was was her as the sun set on the beach. It was a paradise, the closest thing to heaven for me. I woke up hoping to have that beautiful girl at my side, but nothing was there. I was alone. Alone in a world filled with millions and billions of people. It wasn’t sunny. A sheet of snow covered everything. It was bleak and depressing. You see imagination is kinda like a drug. You’ll be happy in the moment, but later you’ll realize reality, and you’ll be scared of it. After you wake up from your imagination, and you realize that what you were just imaging is all fake, intangible. However, imagination can also lead to great things. It could lead to ideas that could shape or world, so that we all could live in peace and harmony. Loneliness really sometimes is great, but a life surrounded by friends is always better alongside it.  Find your balance between the two, and then and only then do I think you can truly appreciate this journey called life. As one of my favorite rappers—kid cudi—once said:


I know it's easy to imagine,
But it's easier to just do,
See, if you can't do what you imagine,
Then what is imagination to you?
Just a waste of space in your brain,
To take the place of hate,
Or things all the same.


So find that place find your balance, and right now I’m still trying to figure it out. One thing in life is guaranteed, and that's death. We can try to run from it, but one day the cold hand of death will take us. So, the rest is up to you, so carve your own path. Be the captain of your ship. Navigate through the complexities of life, and find your treasure. The balance between imagination and reality, so that hopefully your imagination becomes your reality. I guess I’m just ranting, and right now I’m at the point where I can put down on words what I’m thinking of.