Final Metacognition

Hudson Wesel

May 30th, 2020

English 9th Fitz

 

 

The Box, Filled with Growth and Admiration

All Inside One English Class

Fitz Photo"You'll Always Be Superman To Me"

-John Fitzsimons (Superman)

    Life is like a box, experiences are stuffed inside of it and as your life progresses more and more refined pieces fills your box until there is no more space left, and the lids closes. English for me has been an interesting class. In fact, as I write this, I can think back to August where I wrote my first writing assignment for this year. It’s the same feeling, the trees swaying against the breeze, the splashing waters and the bright sun shining against my face. Looking at the world around me now, it looks a little different, something has changed in me over these past nine months. Back then I was both excited and intrigued at the upcoming year ahead of me. With age comes wisdom, and for the first time, I felt like I was finally able to grasp a piece of both what it means to live and the world around me. I hoped to use these new found feelings to inspire great writing pieces. When I found out Fitz was going to be my teacher I was ecstatic. To think that this is singer that I had listen to on my Sony radio box, would be my teacher, not to mention, probably the most philosophical and down to earth people I have and will ever meet in my life. I have to say, that both the style of your teaching and your attitude towards teaching, is both unique and allows for both great intellectual and critical thinking, as well as creativity, honesty. (Thank you for everything, and soon you will fully understand what that entails). I started out a little confused, in my traditional fashion, I usually start everything with a few rough patches, English was no different. I had great ideas and even greater aspirations, but I failed to put that on paper. I eventually came to understand the processes of the class as-well as fine tuning the ‘style’ of writing that would remain consistent throughout my future writing pieces. I was writing good pieces here and there, but nothing notable. I was searching for something that I could point to as an example and say to myself:

“Carry this with you into every writing piece, and that piece will always be notable and unique to you.”

It was right about then, when I was assigned something that would both unlock something within myself, but elevate my writing as a whole. It was the ‘heroic cycle story.’ I don’t why exactly, but the structure of the assignment allowed for great freedom and potential as well as stable perimeters to keep the story structured and organized. I can say without a doubt that this assignment was the pivotal point in my English year. That 36 page story, allowed all my thoughts, ideas, and emotions to take shape on pieces of paper. It represented, that character I wanted to become, not the person I was supposed to be. It became both the piece I was searching for and the piece of myself I longed for. From then on I felt a sense admiration and beauty,  in everything I wrote. I was able to take what I felt as I wrote that story, and implement it in a way that allowed me as a writer to evolve into something greater. I guess teachers can be useful after all. I don’t write out of my own initiative too often, however, when I do and did write, I felt happy and inspired to do my best. It was a different form of the same feeling I got when I played lacrosse, or talking with friends. From that story onwards, I continued to grow as a writer. Now here I stand, or sit rather, on this yellow chair, just as I did nine months prior it feels similar; but this time I have the part that I needed to expand my thoughts and character. One that when I look back on, makes me smile at those long nights that I put it, and the feeling I got as my fingers pressed against the keys. When I started this class I wanted to grow as a writer, however, I ended up growing as a person instead, that in turn elevated my writing onto a level that I had never known nor dreamed of, it was indeed my unknown-known. All because I stayed up late into the early hours of the morning to finish that last chapter. All because I gave a damn about what I writing. All because I walked through a door, and on the other side of the room, a man named Fitz was sitting in his chair sipping his coffee out of a paper cup and showed me what it meant to be a true writer, and one that would change my life forever.


Walden Essay It's Long, But Worth It, So Grab A Snack and Get Comfy

Hudson Wesel

May 7th, 2020

English 9th Fitz

Walden In A Pond of Life

UnnamedA Life of Darkness I do not wish to live, A Life of No Expectation, I do not wish to live, A Life Without Purpose is Not Life

    Life. What a topic. Never ending, never resting, never satisfied. I was walking along the pavement of my street. The moon was out in full bloom, must’ve been thirty minutes past midnight. In these times I live in a gated community, and at the center is a small, circular green field. It’s about a ten minute walk, but what makes it worth it, is when I lie down in the middle of the grass, and look at the blanket of darkness and sometimes the shimmering round light. Such openness allows for great thinking. Yes, while I think about a lot of things, I don’t find them to be anywhere near as productive or thought provoking as asking myself two questions. First, who am I right now living in this life? Second, what do I wan’t and how will I achieve it? These are the questions that bring forth, the truthiness of reality, the basic expectation for ourselves and who we are as people going forward as we embark on this crazy yet still and quiet path known as life. As I was reading Walden I found myself asking these same questions, but to a level that I would not have dreamed possible. Perhaps using this book, will elevate my understanding of all those thoughts and expectations in my life, and open a door to an intellectual world that in the past had been denied to me by the lock of ignorance, youth and weakness.

 

    An angel, with wings full of feathers and beauty floated down from the cloudy heavens above. Her presence glimmering with light and life. She descended down to the green soft grass below. She represents life. Waiting for her was a shrouded figure, one of darkness, shadow, and despair. Yet it reached out to the being above, with gentleness, kindness, and optimism hoping to graciously capture a piece of light. Holding the light in his skeletal hand the shrouded figure was overflowed with joy. A short time later the light  however, faded from his boney hand, and he wept. He represents death. The angel approached the figure and asked

“Death, why are you so distraught?” Death responded.

“Why is it that everyone loves you, but hates me.” Death cried out.

“Because” the angel said. “I am a beautiful lie, and you are the sad truth.” Why must we “kid” ourselves? Why is it that we lie to ourselves? Why is it that we wish to live in the light yet we surround ourselves with darkness? The short answer. We wish to close our eyes to realities we don’t want to see, but our hearts are unable to close to realties we don’t want to feel.

“Shams and delusions are esteemed for soundest truths, while reality is fabulous. If men would steadily observe realities only, and not allow themselves to be deluded, life, to compare it with such things as we know, would be like a fairy tale and the Arabian Nights' Entertainments. If we respected only what is inevitable and has a right to be, music and poetry would resound along the streets. When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality”[Walden Page 49].

Stop it. I’m not going to tell what you can and cannot do, nor tell you how to live your life. Go where you want, do what you want I don’t care. However, why must craft these web of lies and delusions that is weaved by your life. When in the end it is the hand of truth that rips away that web. Tearing away your idea of what life is. Hope and delusion are two separate ideas. Fusing them together, only separates you from what is important in life. In the end your hopes, dreams, aspirations, ideas are just that. Ideas. They’re not real. They will never be real until you decide to make them real. I don’t owe a penny to help you, make your dreams a reality. If you want to have it, go and get it yourself. Reality has pushed you to this point. It has left you to fend for yourself, but has also laid out the rules, and it is you who can not only play the game, but win. Just don’t treat life as such. A game. A game where you can log out and live with your net loss knowing it was only a game. A game, where in the end nothing is real. A game where eventually everything will be wiped and you have fresh start. Life is not like that. So in the end live in truth. Cut the fluff, the crap, the euphemisms, then and only then, will you live in reality. Life is not a fairy tale, but a nonfiction story, that is written by you, not the darkness we choose to live in. If the truth is cruel then lies must be kind. What do you want to humor yourself with? It is reality that places us in life, but it is life that can create who we are as people.

 

    Humans are pathetic. We have no wings to fly, no claws to slash, no fins to dart across the waves of sea, no fangs to bite. We are weak humans. Yet we have a strength unlike any other. The strength of human potential. The human race has accomplished time and time again feats that no other animal can even dream of doing. Building space ships, building countries as we know it, hell we even have the power to destroy the entire world. However, none of it would be possible if we were not human. Over the centuries, we as humans have evolved, changed and persevered. So what is it that allows for our greatest strength. What is it that unlocks this power that allows us to go beyond the capabilities of what we as humans are meant to do. It’s only the feelings expectation, progression and elevation.

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do”[Walden Page 45].

There is a bar in life. You determine how high it is set. You determine whether you go above it or below it (or just stay the same). You determine, when you wake up in the morning what is the direction of your day, and what you are going to accomplish. Every species has one purpose to survive and reproduce and pass on their genes to the next generation. We as people have this unique skill and ability to choose. We get to decide what our life is going to be like. What dreams we have and what goals we complete. The higher your goals, the more room there is for you to accomplish and grow, but the harder it will be to complete that goal. One’s own desire is completely subjective. However, you can’t fail someone that has zero expectations. When you put these limiters on yourself.

“I can’t do it.” “I don’t feel like it.” “I’m not good at this; whatever I will just drop it.” When you do that you become weaker as a person. You’re saying to yourself, I’m just going to be human. Nothing more. I do not wish to be anything greater. I have nothing and while I may wan’t something more, it don’t want to earn it. The greatness of humans lies within the bar and standard we set for ourselves. You decide how your life is going to go. The bar depicts how high you are willing to go. How high that bar is for yourself is both in your hands and in your strength.

 

    Life is defined as a lot of topics and ideas. Some more stupid than others. What experiences make up life? What determines life’s value? What is the goal in life? For me and to many others it’s to live it. Don’t misinterpret me. I’ll spare the “live life to the fullest,” “or everything’s just a part of life so don’t worry” crap. Nor will I try to define life, because I am both unintelligent and unqualified. Yet, I just wish to see it. To live it. With diligence. Like previously stated I’m not the only one. What is life?

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan- like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion”[Walden Page 46].

Purpose. What an invaluable word. It’s truly the most powerful word. Such a simple concept especially compared to life, but it is the only component needed to craft life. With purpose, there is truly nothing that can stop you. It unlocks all the strength in your body and goes through anything life throws at them. Yet it can all cause the ultimate destruction of life. It can leave you with absolutely nothing. Leading you into a free fall of despair, weakness, hopelessness and sorrow. Both of these sides I have experience first hand at some point in my life. Despite all of the emotion, thoughts, processes, they were all centered around purpose. That is life. With purpose comes a deliberate sense of what it means to live. I too do not wish to live what is not life, a life without purpose. I strive to not only improve myself, but my life and intern my purpose as well. Isn’t kinda funny. I talk about how life should not be lived in the shadows of lies nor with the limiters that weigh one down. But purpose. With purpose it can outshine any undo any and all of those negatives. In short. “The person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” ―Thomas Carlyle. I am ready to leave the port of Fenn and head off to the next adventure of life. With rudder, that does its job I can only hope that the ships headed in different directions yet on the same sea, will check twice on their rudder before heading off into the abyss and uncertainty known as life.

    It never ceases to amaze me. How ever single walk. Every night. Every star. Every moon. Is different. Yet they all feel connected. Sometimes life is like that. It’s not just the experiences or the interactions with other people that define your life. But rather your interaction with your own thoughts and emotions. The feelings that make us all. Human. Humans, with a life, to live.


A Plague Has Swept Our Nation

A Plague Has Swept Our Nation

And It's Not The One You Think

Brave

“Fear can keep a man out of danger but courage only can support him in it" -Thomas Fuller

 

 

A plague has swept our nation

It’s not what you think and it’s an abomination

There is no recreation of what’s going on currently

However, it’s certainly a new experience

And while it does take perseverance I don’t care about that

Because the simple fact, is living in fear

Will not adhere to the true meaning of life

This sickness is like a scythe

It cuts people’s years and souls

Looking down at are bowls of food and then at the TV

Hoping to see, the freebee the lets humanity go

This has flowed through our country long enough

And when it gets tough, it’s up to you to decide your reaction

There is no retraction of what has already been done

This is not fun, but there is not point to run

Face this head on

Release the bonds that hold you back

This virus cuts no slack

Make up what you lack

Just keep moving forward

Just keep progressing

Just keep going

No slowing

Growing is a part of life

This may stop the countries growth

It does not stop the mind, from learning

This is my only yearning, and plea

Go see what you can do

When fear is turned off the gear

And confidence is your engine

And perseverance is your guide

You can accomplish amazing things

This the truth that rings

Like that school bell

Everyone fell

Everyones trying to sell

But what you don’t want to sell is yourself

Because while its true a plague has swept our nation

This is a revelation and opportunity

So take advantage

So take the opening

So take the reason to discover

And it will change your life forever


Memoir

Hudson Wesel

April 17, 2020

English 9th Fitz

Tasting a Strong Bond

Bonding

"There is a reason people stay together, because they give each other something that nobody else can"

Throughout life you need to find people you can depend on. People who can support you, people who are able to help you up when you fall, people who give a damn about helping you when you need it, people are both nice and reliable, people like my older brother, Blake.

 

I’m the youngest, out of three boys in my family. Even saying that makes me feel weird. Me a younger brother, always destined to be inferior to those generations who came before me. Those select few that are always ahead of me,. I have a burning passion, a fire that wants to smoke my competition in whatever it is I’m doing. It takes courage, bravery strength. Sounds like a good story, but it’s not the story that will be told today. This is not a story, where this fire burns through the people who are ahead of me, but rather when my flame was just that. A small flame looking for a strong, upstanding wick for it to live on and burn brightly. This is about when, my brother descended from his level down to mine, and helped me out, where I wouldn’t admit, but when I needed it. So yes it is and always will be somewhat awkward for me to say I’m the youngest, but it will never be awkward for me to say, that Blake and Graham Wesel are my older brothers; and they are the best older brothers in the world.

 

 

The sphere of light and heat shined down upon my house, as I awoke. I do the same as always: reach for my phone on my nightstand, check the time, whine about the time, try to go back to sleep, and finally realize I have school and race to take my place. With the same red fuzzy chairs, the marble table, and lights overhead, it was time for me to begin class. The date was April 14, 2020 and what a day it was going to be. I had classes the first two periods. I got through them, like a track star running a dash. It was weird because I had two classes in the first half of the morning and then I had arts at 12:45. With a parting goodbye from Mr:Wachs, I closed my eyes and began to walk to my room. My feet hit against the yellow carpet as I thought about the previous night, dinner time. All of my family gathered around this large, rectangular table. The wood so smooth and refined as my worn fingers rubbed against it. Then my mom spoke.

 

“Due to the rate of COVID-19, they are probably going to cancel all the schools in Massachusetts, and we will probably be down here till the end of next month.” In that moment it was like apathy getting shot into my blood stream. I was pissed, though I didn’t show it. Just a constant reminder of everything that was going to be  taken from me.

“It can’t get any worse” I mumbled.

Three nights ago, (April 11) we had sals pizza, and I had a caesar salad with grilled chicken. The dressing, mixed with the warmness of the chicken, was one of the best thing’s I had ever eaten. I liked it so much I asked my mom the next day;

“Hey, mom is it okay if you could take me to Sals to get that salad again” I asked in a pleading voice.

“Ask your brother” She replied. I hopped up-stairs and asked my brother the same question and he agreed to take me the next day. Unfortunately, what we failed to realize is that it was Easter Sunday that day and the place would be closed. I was annoyed when we found out. So there I was (April 14), pissed off as could be. From canceled school to no damn salad, it just made me a little more than annoyed and sad at the state of things. I went to bed that night feeling unsatisfied, but soon that would all change. Thinking of all of everything in that moment in the hallway, prompted me ask my brother if we could get the salad again.
“Call them up” he said. I did so and they were open and we headed over there. While driving my brother asked,

“You good?” I replied with the conviential

“Yeah just annoyed” I said.

“At what in particular” he responded. I proceeded to tell him about everything. By the end he responded with

“Wow that’s a lot, but hope this makes you feel a little better” he spoke as he pulled out the salad. We drove home, and when I ate the salad that second time, it tasted better than the first time. Something about my life was better, so I could enjoy my food more. I guess that’s what brothers do, make each others lives better.

 

So in the end, I had gotten what I wanted, a salad. Some good food, however, I felt like I had gotten something a little extra. Just that little gust of wind under my feet to help push me into the next life challenge with more confidence. Life is not meant to go through alone, because it is you alone who connects with those around you.

 

 


Journal Entry #3 April 9th, 2020

Hudson Wesel

April 9th, 2020

English 9th Fitz

The Competition, Fueled By Passion

Trophy

“Say not you know another entirely, till you have divided an inheritance with him.”
― Johann Kaspar Lavater

    In life you gotta compete. The shining sun graced the earth with its presence once again. Before I had anytime to think I was startled and annoyed by the sound of my alarm emitting from my phone. With one extension of my arm, and a press of a button I looked at the time, 8:58AM, Thursday April 9th, 2020.

“Ehh I still got some time”

I said as I turned off my phone and went back to sleep (for two minutes). When my phone finally read 9:00AM, did I then get out of bed and get on zoom for my advisor meeting.

“Oh here comes Hudson” I heard in a familiar and friendly voice. This marked the start of my school day. As time passed so did the classes and eventually I finished. It was an arts day so the day went on longer than usual. Right when my class was about to finish, in my peripheral vision, I spotted my brother Graham. He had that same expression he always has before he asks me something.

“Hey, you wanna go for a run and then do some pull-ups or something?”

At first I was reluctant, but then I was like what the heck. On top of that, my brother after a little while said

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

This meant that there was no way of me getting out of it. I changed out of my white nautica shirt and put on my shoes and headed downstairs.

“So here’s the plan” my brother said.

“We’re going to go to the big green field and then head to the playground and we will do some arm stuff there, sound good.”

“Fine” I responded. We finished stretching and right before we started my brother turned to me and said.

“Just try to keep up.”

I was fired up now, slightly pissed, like hell I’m going to be left in the dust by my own brother. I was going to make him regret those words.

“Yeah, and make sure you keep up with me too.”

Graham had a perplexed look on his face, proving his underestimation of me. We started our run, and while it started off a little faster than expected I found my rhythm. The sun was blazing that day, felt like 90 degrees, the sweat began to break from my forhead. However, as soon as we got to the field, we headed to the playground. Our feet hit against the pavment, and music was blasting in my ear to keep me going. I got a little ahead of Graham, and from then to the end, the gap only widened little by little. At last we arrived at the playground, and I had one goal, always do one more than what my brother did.

“That’ll show him”
I said to myself. The workout was simple enough, do your max pull-ups than max tricep-pulls and then alternate after each one. Graham came right out the gate with 15 pull-ups. I had my work cut out for me. I started out as hot as the weather, but it did not last for very long, by the time I hit twelve I was struggling. My grip on the bar tightened, however it was to no avail, and with final failed pull I dropped at twelve. I was pissed to say the least. Come time for our first set of tricep pulls, I was more fired up than other. Graham went first just like last time, and it was one after the next after the next after the next resulting in eleven. I had one goal match him. My will was burning brighter than the sun that day, and before I dropped I had done twelve, one more than the competition. From then on I was either on par or did one more than what my brother did. After we finished my brother purposed a race, but he gave me a minute head start. I remember him saying.

“I don’t think I am going to be able to catchup to you.”

“You better not.”

I responded. With the drop of his hand I began to head back to the house and never looked back. I just focused on moving. By the time Graham had reached the house four minutes or so had passed. I was all showered by then and while on my computer, Graham came up to me and said.

“you’re pretty fast”

I replied with

“No, just have a nack for winning against my older brother.”

We both laughed. Sometimes, in life, your sheer will can accomplish you anything.

 


Reading Blog #3

Hudson Wesel

April 5, 2020

English 9th Fitz

The Road Not Taken

Fork In The Road - 3/28/18 PM - Calvary Baptist Church

“Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”
― Garth Nix, Sabriel
 

Life is full of choices, actually life is choices. The choices you make, make-up your life. Sometimes they are small like what to eat for breakfast, other times it decides where you want to spend the rest of your life. But today, this piece is not just about the choices you take, but what does it mean to choose. Yes, I may be digging too deep into this, but then again, the very nature of decision making is so crucial that I feel like it’s worth digging into. Sometimes I wonder, what is the thought process when it comes to making a decision, and what can affect them. No, I’m not about to lecture you on some secret social experiment I did on this topic, because in the end I did not have to. I did not have to because Robert Frost did it for me. Well not directly, but he did give me something that has all the answers for me, and it’s all embedded within his poem titled The Road Not Taken. I stared at my screen, with a layer of darkness shrouding around me, my screen was the only surface that vanquished any sort of darkness. I was tired. I read this poem over and over again, however, I was only getting bits and pieces. It frustrated me, and annoyed me. I clench my fist as a repeat lady staring at my screen. I asked myself, “What is the main message of this poem?” Then I decided since I was getting pieces of this poem, I was going to break it up into pieces. Then all of it became clear. Looking at this poem closely, stanza by stanza created and incorporated a new point that was embedded in the art of decision making. I greeted the first stanza picturing 

two roads diverged in a yellow wood’(line1).

As you can imagine I can only travel on one of the two roads. 

‘And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood’(Lines 2-3). It is here where Frost introduces the reader to the first point of this poem; as they say, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. You can only choose one thing, one path. Indecisiveness will only kick the can down the road of life. You have learned to choose what you want. So in order for someone to make a decision they have to weigh their options, and that’s exactly what Frost does in his poem. 

 

‘Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black’(Lines 6-13).

To put it simply, you have two options and in order to help you make the proper decision you are going to weigh one against the other, compare them in an effort to see which one is better. Then after seeing and weighing his two options, Frost finally chooses a road to down.

 

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood’

(14-20).

 Frost finally decides to pick his road. Frost incorporated two points into this last bit of his poem, and they are probably the most important. The first point frost makes is that, once you make a decision stick to it. Yes I can already hear those hypotheticals come my way, the “what if” or “say if you were in this position” stuff. However, this is not a hypothetical, this is life. When you have made a decision don’t quit on it. Don’t doubt, because there is no point. Doubting your decisions will only hold you back on what that path truly has in store for you. The final point Frost makes is, popularity does not equal value. Just because it’s the “more popular” pick does not make it the better pick. It may be. However, just because you chose to do something irregular does not make it wrong. Because as Frost explains it.

‘I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference’(Lines 20-22).

 

 

 

 


Reading Blog #2

 

 

Hudson Wesel

April 4, 2020

English 9th Fitz

If You Forget Me

Moving-on-small“You only struggle because you’re ready to grow but aren’t willing to let go.” – Drew Gerald

    Love is a two-way street. I mean let’s face it, you can’t love someone or anything for that matter if that thing or person does not love you back. One must love the other and the other must reciprocate that love, otherwise it will die out like a flame on a small wick. If you forget me is a poem that emphasizes that point. Showing love and affection is seen all the time, in movies and tv-shows to commercials about almost everything. They display excitement, passion, and entice you to “fall in love” with their product, so you buy it. When it’s person to person love, then it’s a little different. As you read this quote from the poem think about interacting with somebody, literally anybody, and try to apply that situation to this quote.  

‘everything carries me to you, 

as if everything that exists, 

aromas, light, metals, 

were little boats 

that sail 

toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

 

Well, now, 

if little by little you stop loving me 

I shall stop loving you little by little. 

 

If suddenly 

you forget me 

do not look for me, 

for I shall already have forgotten you’(lines 12-26).

As previously stated love goes both ways. It’s not just any emotion like happiness or anger or sadness, no it’s separate. It’s separate not just because of the meaning and sentiment behind it, but also the fact that you need a pair of that emotion, and you only have one. You need it to be returned by the person or passion you give your love to. It’s as the poem says, you get interested and then you spend time being around that intersect. Then overtime and with experience you fall in love with it; however, it’s not that simple. While yes you can start to love, you can also slowly stop loving. If little by little you begin to dial back and slowly drift away from all of that value and purpose that got that love, it can deteriorate and then it’s taken. Eventually you begin to forget and move on from that feeling. 

If you think it long and mad, 

the wind of banners 

that passes through my life, 

and you decide 

to leave me at the shore 

of the heart where I have roots, 

remember 

that on that day, 

at that hour, 

I shall lift my arms 

and my roots will set off 

to seek another land. (lines 30-42).

Eventually without that adequate time, passion and energy invested into that relationship, then the winds of life will blow your “sail” in a new direction, one that is away from that. However, the heart wants what it wants. If you are ‘destined to be’ then one way or another you will stay with that. Then one way or another, that once forsaken flame at the start of this piece, will find a way to stay lit, and burn bright for eternity. 


Reading Blog #1

Hudson Wesel

April 3, 2020

English 9th Fitz

O Sweet Spontaneous

 

Life is about living. 

“No duh sherlock”,

some angsty teenager might be saying; however, the poem O sweet spontaneous is written to shed light one that simple fact, and some others. Let’s face it, we’re growing up, well most of us. Taking a step back, over time we have better technology and medicine and better schools like Fenn. Yet, when the world holds a mirror up to itself, it doesn’t see itself. e.e. cummings drops the reader into this exact point with his first three stanzas. 

‘earth how often have

the

doting

 

            fingers of

prurient philosophers pinched

and

poked

 

thee

,has the naughty thumb

of science prodded

thy

 

      Beauty’ (lines 1-13).

Life is supposed to be about life. So many people though, get caught and tripped up. They overthink concepts, and ideas that are so simple and easy to understand, and yet they go so deep with these simple and basic ideas that they lose sight of what is important. The main, crucial point that these simple objects, and organisms represent. Is it really so deep and difficult to understand mother nature’s beauty? Just accept it for what it is. There is no rhyme or reason to try to add on to it. There is no “poking and doting” that needs to be done or “prod” the “science” of it all. People are asking themselves the wrong question, scientists and philosophers alike. They ask “What does this truly mean”, when they should be  asking “How are we so lucky that we of all species get to experience mother nature’s creation?” Life is about living, not digging. Then cumming’s shifts briefly to religion that ties to the first point previously mentioned. People around the world practice many different religions. However, cumming’s point is not on the practices or culture of those religions, but rather the actions people bestow upon their religion.

‘how

often have religions taken

thee upon their scraggy knees

squeezing and

 

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive

gods’(lines 13-19).

People as already mentioned practice all kinds of religions however the point cumming’s tries to make is the responsibilities we bestow on our gods is actually misplaced. In other words, people give all the credit to God's and divine power however, sometimes it’s just another gift of nature. We place these miracles and blessings not on the functionality of nature, but rather the gods we have created. Then, in order to please those god’s for the gift they give us, we give them sacrifices and offerings, taken from the earth. Now look your religion is your religion I have no say in that, heck I’m an apysicaplian myself, but there are times where we should be thanking not god, but rather the gift and the blessings mother nature has embedded within this world. Finally, cummings finishes it off with an idea that is connected to both of the ones already stated. It’s something that everyone both thinks about and over complicates (that is understandable).The simple fact of death. To some it’s scary, to some it’s an opening to eternal life, to some it’s reincarnation. However, you hear so many people, and philosophers talk about what it means to die, what is death, and where we go after it. You also have millions of people believing (myself included) that there is some type of life after death. Yet all of us don’t accept death for what it truly is, a function of nature. In life there is not always a deeper meaning or what not, and there may not be divine intervention, but rather the simple function of life, something we all seem to overthink and overcomplicate. 


Journal Entry #2 April 4th, 2020

Hudson Wesel

April 4th 2020

English 9th Fitz

Mother nature rose her fingertips over the horizon

The sands of time had shifted to next day

Having no school I had made plans

From my house to the beach and back is where I ran

The sneakers sounded like hooves stamping the pavement

Sun shining brightly, too brightly

After ten minutes in I was out of the gated community

With wind underneath my feet

And fire in my belly, I ran

The wind whipping against my face

It was almost like a race, and I was winning

I was ripping, through the course

With force, of a horse I kept going, no time to stop

I thought I was cream of the crop

Out of the shade from the path and onto the road

Despite the heat, my pace was not slowed

My confidence flowed as I stepped on the platform

With railings running down as far as the eye could see

And below me, was beautiful, glistening water

I was mesmerized

Reaching the peek, things were looking anything but bleak

So I continued on

Going through crosswalk after crosswalk

I finally reached the sign

better than last time

Juno Beach Dunes

“All right, I made it, that was easy” I exclaimed,

However, what I failed to maintain, was that speed

The engine had been running, and it was tired as well as the limbs I stand on

The sun was not making it easier either

With zero water I knew, I was going to have to push myself

While running I felt that heat

But I push past that pain and I stood to my feet

Eager to keep going

I was not slowing for nothing

The closer I was, the harder it got

But I had a plot

To not stop, not quit, not give up, not surrender

I returned that pain to the sender and breathed

Life is all about going through challenges

If I back out now, who knows when I won’t the next time

I just kept moving, and eventually I made it home

The time in my phone read 2:02

The result I wanted, and the pain I went through

Made my theory true

Go through your difficulties

Thats what life is about

Don’t scream, don’t shout

Just go, and maybe have some fun

Now you should be ready to start your run.


Journal Entry #1 April 2, 2020

Hudson Wesel

April 2, 2020

9th English Fitz

Do What Has To Be Done

I arose an unusual yet familiar sound. Raising my head, and slowly opening my decrepyed eyes revealed my phone blaring, my cup of diet coke from the night before, and light seeping through the window like blades through the shield of darkness. I reached out and grabbed my phone and looked at the time. In big white letters, the bright screen read 8:50AM, April 2, 2020.

“Crap, ughhh, it’s the first day back, whatever” I said annoying and stubbornly. In one fell swoop I ripped the sheets off me like a kid on Christmas. As my feet landed on my soft, white carpet, I caught sight of my tool, that was going to carry me through this online school stuff, my laptop. I picked it up as well as my charger and walked until I stopped in my door with a mirror engraved on my side of it. With my hand on that off-putting metal door handle I said to myself

“Well, this is going to be one hell of an experience.” I set everything up and began as if I was at regular school. Honestly, I really did not care if it was online or not, school is school and I knew what I was meant and expected to do. Going through my first classes I realized it was just like the first day of school all over again minus the whole spiel about expectations and what not. Some teachers assigned homework some just chatted, but while the classes were different I knew there ain’t no school that has this positive attitude even in the worst of situations. After I got done with all my classes I decided to finish reading all of Fitz’s journal entries, just so had a leg up on the weekly assignment sheet. The day passed through like cars through a toll booths. What I didn’t know was that this day was about to get spicy. After acting like a sloth for a couple of hours and doing homework and watching youtube, I felt like taking a shower. I didn’t feel like doing any exercise that day, well that was until I just stopped, right at my door. I stopped to think. Why give up, why not go for a run? The more I thought about it the more inclined I felt to do the work out I had planned a day prior, the more inclined I felt to do what has to be done.
“Just shut up, cut the excuses and do it” I told myself. It was not because I necessarily wanted to do it, but rather I had to do it. Do what was expected of myself laied out by myself. My want’s and desires played a factor as well. If you don’t feel like running or doing exercise how can you expect to play lacrosse at the level you want or get anything you want if you’re gonna just take the easy way out when you can. The simple answer is you cant. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If you want to improve yourself you have to work on yourself consistently. This was more than enough reason for me to do it. Then after that, the rest of the day ended like any other day, although today I had a small sense of pride, but I knew that this is not it, I had to keep going, don’t question it, just do it. In life there are times where you just have to do what has to be done with no strings attached.